Divorce Issues & Special Needs Children

Too often, the demands of caring for a special-needs child create stressors on a marriage that can lead a couple to divorce.  The divorce rate among couples of special needs children is above the national average.  As with any other major life events, the divorce process is a very straining, emotionally difficulty, and stressful occurrence that can lead one of the spouses unprepared for the journey. This is especially more true when there is a special needs child involved. Family concerns and sensitive emotional issues come to the for front and are of primary importance to the parties involved. What was once a beautiful, carefree relationship turns into a painful, emotional, confusing roller-coaster ride. There is no question that having a child with a disability is a tremendous source of stress for any couples.
When crafting a divorce agreement unique issues must be anticipated and addressed for a special needs child.  Divorces involving special needs children require greater attention to detail regarding emotional, medical and educational decisions, Carefully, orchestrated planning for the future, and the unique accommodations for the children, need to be incorporated into the divorce agreement. This may not only involve legal custody, visitation rights of the non-custodial parent and grandparents, diet and medications programs, treatments not covered by insurances, but also child support, public benefits eligibility, lifetime care and support, and the shared use of the family van for transportation of the child with special equipment.

No matter how amicable the divorce may be, all areas of financial planning, and divorce planning will probably be another emotionally charged situation, putting financial issues on the back burner. This is an unfortunate situation because divorce is one of the most common reasons for bankruptcy for one or both of the divorcing spouses. No matter how amicable the divorce may be, it is highly recommended that both parities hire their own attorneys who specializes in family law, and special needs legal arrangements. Once one or both parties to the marriage determine that irreconcilable differences or other circumstances exits that make termination of the marriage inevitable, the divorce planning process needs to be initiated.

Parents often need to be taught how to communicate and collaborate with each other for the benefit of their child. Hiring a therapist who is well versed in the challenges of coordinating shared custody arrangements, financial and college planning, as well as, negotiating challenging situations that involve special needs child is important. This is especially true when parents disagree about how to care for, treat, or mediate their special needs child.

Advice for the Parent of a Special Needs Child:

If there is any way to salvage your marriage, salvage it.
If you can't salvage it, don't play the blame game.
Don't try to screw you spouse out of household objects.  If you don't need don't keep it.
You can not do this without help of family, friends, or counselors.
Do not purposely limit your child's contact with the other parent.
Immediately make this chaotic time as structured for your child as possible.
Do not argue or disagree in front of your child.
Do ask your child to deliver the child-support or alimony checks.
Be patient, understanding, have faith, courage, hope and communicate effectively with your x-spouse.
Get out and be social.
First and foremost take care of your self.



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